Tourists, Take Heart

This advise goes out to all of those soon to be visitors/vacationers about to embark on their journey to my little part of the world.

1. Use sunscreen. We can always tell who the out of towners are based on the lobsterfiedness of your body.
2. You are also very easy to spot in your tie dye insert vacation city here t-shirts. At least wait until you get home to wear it. 
3. Don't play frogger with traffic on HWY 98. You will lose and it will end very badly for you.
4. Please don't feed the birds on the beach. No one wants to get shit on while laying out.
5. Pick up after yourself. Our beaches are not your trashcan.
6. Pay attention while driving. I get that you want to look around at everything. Just park your damn car and walk then. That's why we have sidewalks. Us locals have places to be and don't want to live on our breaks for the entire Summer.
7. Learn how to drive a boat before you get here. It's not like operating a car. I promise.
8. If you want to know the best places to eat, just ask a local. We will recommend the local favorites as opposed to the tourist traps.
9. And above all, be nice. For the most part, we understand that you are on vacation and are here for a short period of time and want you to enjoy yourself. Just don't be an ass to the servers, housekeepers, cab drivers, bartenders, etc. that live here year round.
10. Oh, and one more.  Make sure to tip your servers, bartenders, etc. There is nothing worse than someone who says "Great Service" and then doesn't leave a tip. Rule of Thumb: at least 15% to 20% of your bill before any discounts or coupons are applied.