Thursday, August 16, 2012

A Working Mommy

When I first found out I was pregnant I was worried about how I would feel when I had to leave my child with someone else to go back to work.  Would I be able to do it?  Well, a few months in and I have to say that going back to work was the absolute best decision for myself and Brandon.  Now, I am lucky.  I am only in the office 3 days a week with a Saturday thrown in every now and again.  There is a good possibility that I would have a different outlook if I worked 8-5 Monday though Friday without the flexibility that my career brings. Luckily, I don't and I think that is why I don't feel as guilty.

I will say that the first week back at work was tough.  I cried the first 2 days that I left Brandon at daycare.  It was tough, but it got easier.  Now, a few months have passed and I just couldn't see myself doing anything other that this.  I think it is great for both myself and Brandon to spend some time away from each other.  That way he doesn't get used to ONLY being around me and can learn important social skills at a very young age.  AND, he loves it.  He is all smiles when we go to daycare.  He loves his teachers and is always smiling and happy when I pick him up.

On the flip side, yes, I worry that I might miss some big milestone in his life.  That he may start crawling or walking at daycare instead of with me.  Will I be upset, yes.  But, that just means when he gets home he will get to show off his new skills to me it will still be just as amazing and awesome as when he started doing it at daycare.

I will be his mother forever, but I am still me.  An individual who has a life outside of my child and who will continue to have a separate life after he is grown.  I love Brandon more than anything but I do think it is important to have a separate identity away from your child.  I just don't think it is healthy, for me or Brandon, to allow him to consume my entire being and lose who I am in the process.

Constant drool going on  now.  

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